Thursday, November 7, 2013

I Have A Psychotic Neighbour.

For as long as I can remember, I always had an assholic neighbour on the left of my house. Since I was a kid, I watched my dad argue with him countless of times. Being not more than 6 years of age, I never really understood why, all I knew was that this man was selfish. As the years go by, I began to understand it myself why the arguments occurred.

This man, who I have referred to as "E.D" since forever, lives with his wife. Why the name"E.D"? We never knew his name, and it so happened that Malaysia was advertising the issue of "erectile dysfunctional" on television. So as a child, I concluded that because he had no kids, he must have erectile dysfunctional, and so the name stuck from then on. There's nothing much to know about his wife. But if you must know, she's exactly the description of Aunt Petunia in J.K. Rowling's book, Harry Potter - "bony and horse-faced".

They are both of very odd, socially awkward characters. In a 21st century, its not entirely abnormal for neighbours to not mingle with one another. But this couple don't even make the slightest eye contact for years.

It wouldn't be fair to tell what the arguments were between my father and E.D, because obviously it would be one-sided. So I'll just start from the time I could remember what I witnessed from my own perspective.

Year 2004 - E.D may have been an aspiring contractor.

I was 13 at this point. Before this, E.D never really stayed in this house permanently. As a kid, I remembered him returning once every few days and even so, he returned in the wee hours of the morning. And then the nightmare (for me) started. In 2004, he started major renovations to his house. Half way through, he claimed that his contractors conned him and took off without completing the full job.

So for about 2 years, which means till I was 15, day and night and sometimes even midnight, he would be hammering and drilling away. It got so bad that at one point, I joked about him having a basement where he hid all the dead bodies like in the movie Disturbia. I'm almost convinced that instead of his contractors running off, he probably chased them away so he could have something to do with his life which made others' lives a living hell.

The wall that separated both our houses were knocked down in the process of the renovation. He neither informed us about it nor completed the job. Although the wall was build back up, he never painted our side of our wall. Why am I so sure of this? Because I fucking painted that wall.

E.D may have been a fisherman.

The gist of the arguments between my father and E.D was about how he washed the tar road outside of our house so often that it eroded and started sinking. E.D's response to my dad's statement was "It's the government's land", meaning to say that my dad has no right to squabble about it.

What was it that he needed to wet the road in front of both our houses so often? Previously, he even washed his dog's feces on to the road, so you can imagine the smell when you stepped out of the house. Other than feces, its fish guts after every fishing trip of his. So the front of my house either smelled like a public toilet or a wet market. The feces stopped overtime, but the "wet market" still occassionally happens now. And because the ground is pretty sunken in, there's a puddle of fish-smelling water in front of my house. Now imagine walking to your house, and that water splashes on to the back of your leg.

Why is it that miscarriages happen but these people continue to live in this world? Beats me.

E.D may be an aspiring Majlis Bandaraya Petaling Jaya officer.

In Malaysia today, we have too many cars for our own good. Which means its definitely a common issue of car park in a neighbourhood. Thankfully, my house is facing a park, which means there's more spaces for everyone on my block. Or you would think so.

That's E.D's truck, and that's his amazing parking skills and not a fuck given attitude.

 That very same man who claimed that anything in front of his door step is "government's land", painted white lines across his house to indicate that that was his spot for his car. When that didn't deter people from parking opposite his house, he placed huge rocks to make sure no one could park there without damaging their undercarriage.. He drives a truck, so he has no problems going over it.


The psychotic part of all these is that he has the nerve to tell my father that my father could park in that parking spot if he wanted. Who the fuck is he kidding? You put the Great Wall of China to secure a parking spot for yourself on what you claim is government's land and then extend an invitation that will clearly damage my father's car?


E.D may be living alone in his parallel universe.

For a few years now, my cars and a few other neighbours' cars' tires have mysteriously been slashed or punctured on purpose. And for years, we wondered if it was a mischeievious act of a kid or an adult who really needed to have his hands chopped off.

The common thing about those incidents was that it happened every time one of the cars was not parked in front of that particular car owner's house. For example, my sister's car was parked in front of our hairdresser neighbour's house (I know I should really get to know their names) and two of her car tires got punctured (pebbles inserted into the air tube to let the air out slowly). The hairdresser neighbour's car was parked in front of my house and both his tires got slashed. If anything, it seems that whoever did this was trying to make both parties start a war with each other.

Until yesterday (6/11/2013), I was on the way home with a friend in the car and we saw that the hairdresser's car was parked in front of my house, and there was a man squatting beside the tire. As he wasn't squatting facing the houses, but facing the park, we could only see the top of his head as we drove by. And when I looked into the side mirror, I saw that it was E.D squatting beside that man's car tire clearly doing something to it. As I got down the car, I saw E.D's back, running off to his truck, driving over his "Great Wall of China" to make a quick escape and sped off. What a fucking tool right? Did he plan to run off to Thailand and never return home ever again?

So I quickly went to my neighbour's car and there it was, the same thing that happened to my sister's car. From a metre away, you could even hear the air coming out from the tire. So I went to the owner's house to inform him of what I saw.

That night itself, we all waited for E.D to return. He did come home twice, and it was clear that he was avoiding everyone, but on the second time, the owner of the recently damaged car managed to get a hold of him. My dad and I went out to clarify the whole situation. I stated what I saw and E.D's defense was that he took off because he was afraid that someone would accuse him of being the one who did it. When I told him that I told the owner about it and the owner did not think that I was the culprit, he changed the subject to how he was "everyone's friend".

E.D came knocking on our gate the second time after he had his discussion with several other neighbours. The first thing he said to my dad was that he felt offended that I accused him of such a thing and that it was wrong of me to do so. So I told him that if he felt that way, we could both go to the police, I will give my statement of what I witnessed, and he will give his statement and we will let the police investigate from there. I also let him know that lying in his statement would be against the law and we will then see who ends up in jail. His response? ""

Again, he changed the subject to how he is a good person, he has helped informed us when there was supposedly a thief who tried to enter our house, he had let us know when we forgot to unlock our car doors. Honestly, so what? That doesn't change the fact of whatever I saw yesterday.

And knowing his delusional character, he could very well be making those stories up. I could have easily told him that 5 muscle men armed with machetes tried to break into his house and I single-handedly fended them off and saved his property. Would he have ever known for sure? No.

My dad then asked him about the CCTV he installed at his house and he answered excitedly agreeing that he does own a CCTV to have caught it all. When my dad suggested that we all took a look at the recording together and find out who did it if he said it wasn't him., E.D's response? "Uh...I think my wife didn't turn it on."

E.D may be the dumbest fucking living being I've ever known.

This morning, my sister sent me a text at 7.30am - "ED's car tire was punctured when I left for work. Prepare for drama." As I was leaving the house later (9.45am), E.D was pulling a spare tire out of his trunk and he put it back in when he saw that I wasn't paying attention. Peripheral vision, I was watching him watching me.

When my parents went out later in the afternoon to buy lunch (12-ish pm), he was just about to change his car tire then. Not to mention, his car has moved from where it was parked at 7.30am. If you don't see this as him trying to get the attention and "sympathy" of people, you must be extremely dumb or you must be E.D reading this. But this post isn't about you, if you're not E.D.

He then send a text to my dad, which you can see below (forwarded from my dad's phone to me)


HE WANTS TO BRING GOD UP WITH ME?! We will have a fucking competition and stand in the rain during a crazy thunderstorm and we will see which one of us gets strike by lightning! I swear, this is not the end of it because this old man is clearly delusional, vengeful and so extremely stupid.

Wish me luck and patience, everyone. My life is too epic.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Racial Wars: Round 932891

10 years ago, I was 12 years old. I clearly remember that the one thing Malaysia took pride in is that we were a country of multiple races and we live in harmony, even though it wasn't a thought of my own, but neither did I see anything to prove otherwise.

Today, within 30 days, there has been an uproar on non-Muslim kids being forced to eat in bathrooms during the fasting month, Chinese couple insulting Muslims by posting a greeting which mocked their religion and a headmistress accused of telling non-Muslim students to go back to their native countries.


I honestly don't know whats the problem with the people in this country. I'm not even gonna blame it on one particular religion. 

How offensive is it to consume food and water in front of someone who is fasting? The argument is always that we are not respecting that individual who is doing it for their beliefs, but what about the beliefs that are different from theirs? After all, we are a multiracial country. Before this gets out of hand, I am definitely not arguing for or against any party.

If non-Muslims were taunting those who are fasting by throwing food and water at them, then by all means call it offensive and lock them in the bathroom forever.

When I was still in school, I remember that we were told to walk out of the classroom if we wanted to drink water and not to do it in front of those who were fasting. As simple as I can put it, if someone is so devoted to their beliefs, nothing, especially something so petty, can make them want to stray away from it. If I was a vegetarian and you ordered a steak, then let's just have a fucking good meal together. You're just probably going to die of clogged arteries and I'll probably die of iron deficiency.

Bottom line is, I think we need to stop prioritising whose beliefs are more important than another. Respect comes a long way, and there's almost none in this country now. 

And then we have the idiots, Alvivi (Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee) who are so attention seeking to the point where they just had to post a season greeting with a picture of them eating something that is non-halal but decided to attach a halal sticker on their picture anyway.

This two are currently facing jailtime because of their distasteful sense of humour. It's one thing to be bad in bed and its another thing to make horrible sex videos only to force its presence to the world by uploading it online, but to have a bad sense of humour is just disgusting.

Alvivi are probably the epitome of that kind of schoolmate you once had or have, the people that will do just about anything to get the attention of others around them. It could be people yelling for them shut the hell up and just die, but they would still enjoy the attention. 

If you can't recall anyone that way, chances are you're probably that person and you should do something about it. (Not die, please. I don't encourage suicide.)

Here's something not too uncommon. As much as we preach racial harmony, as a Chinese Malaysian, I've heard this countless of times.

I had an amazing moral studies teacher who constantly berated the Chinese for consuming pork and asked us about China as if when school's done, we would walk over a bridge and go back to China. Bitch, I've never stepped foot into China my whole entire life. I don't even like Chinese food all that much. And to be totally honest? I can't even use chopsticks properly. So why are you asking me to go back to somewhere where I can't even communicate to them that I am hungry.

This is not even suppose to be an argument to have. We have so many issues to argue about in this country but yet we're still yelling at each other to go back to our origin.

The only thing I have to say to such people is to evolve. Because we're about 50 000 years into modern behaviour evolution and I think its time for you to join us.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Racist Indiana University Student

This was supposed to be a Facebook status. But as I wrote, I kinda missed blogging and also it was getting too damn long to be a Facebook status.

This is by far the worst hate rant I've ever heard in my entire life. It's so bad that a part of me literally died inside from being bored. I mean, there's so many racial slurs going on on YouTube, the least you could do is at least be funny or entertaining.

Remember that blonde girl from UCLA who expressed her hatred for Asian people after the tsunami hit Japan? Why don't people learn that you'll get wiped out if you ever post a racial video on the internet. Then again, at least she was way more entertaining than this douchebag.

1. Most Asians look alike.

Okay, this is kinda true in China. HAHAHA. But you know whats the brilliance to that? If a mob of Asians surround you to kill you, no one will ever know who really did it. That's right, imagine if 1 billion Asian people are gonna wear yellow costumes and kill you. It's the perfect crime besides stabbing someone with a icicle.

And I so do not look like my neighbour. She looks like a horse and horses wouldn't
even want to take her in. (if I ever blog again, maybe I'll explain this hatred)

2. "I don't find Asian women attractive, kill me."

I WILL, and refer to point number 1.

3. Math

Why in world would you post a video to tell everyone that you suck in math and that
you require special help to pass math? And because you can't do math you hate Asians?
There's absolutely no relevance in this guy. He probably doesn't even know that not
all Asians are good in math. Like me. BUT I CAN DO ALGEBRA. Dillhole.

5. Being short

He's going on like a little bitch about how he will never hit 6 feet when some people
are struggling to past 5 (me, fuck you. You want to grow taller just so you can look down
at Asian people to say "told you so?"

You know what. I'm gonna write a personal letter to Yao Ming who stands at 7 feet 6 inches and he is going to represent his Asian people when he lifts up his feet and step on you like a little piece of dog shit. And when you're smashed to the ground, I'll kneel and tell you told you so. (Personal moment over)

6. Sushi

You justify how awful sushi is because you can't even pronounce sushi? Sushi isn't
even the main "Asian food" that you Westerners so crazily crave over and butcher the
art of preparing it. This is in reference to watching a Western chef boil Chinese soup
and to make it salty, she poured soy sauce into it. I hate this world, it makes suicide
seem okay of a choice.

And why didn't you mention anything about Chinese food? So that I can dice you up with my Samurai sword and cook you in my Chinese wok.

7. Asian males

HAHAHAH. If I were to focus on this part, I'll be ranting about my hatred for males altogether. Not particularly Asian males. But you Asian men seriously need to buck up. You
assholes are getting more perverted by the day and chivalry is so dead within you that
your cells genetically rejects any sort of courteous/decent behaviour.

8. "They blur their porn"

Seriously Japan, why do you do that? But then again, United States is the biggest producer of porn and since he thinks Asian women are ugly, what's he even doing watching Japanese porn.

I would say nice try, but it really wasn't. Ruining the term "haters gonna hate" because this is pure low grade crap.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Keeping Up With The Loongs

Why my parents are not normal parents :-

When I was in primary school, a friend told me that if I wanted something from my parents, all I had to do was cry and throw my tantrum. So being the young, naive child I was, I went home and did exactly that.

And there it was. The wrath of Mrs Loong. "YOU STOP IT BEFORE I SLAP YOU AH. GO AWAY AND DON'T ANNOY ME." Never again in my life.

My dad, on the other hand, has always been the one with the longer fuse, but larger explosion. So large that your ass will switch places with your face. He never really spoke to my sister and I as if we were kids, and all the advices he gave were always in some weird metaphorical way. Which probably explains why no one really understands me when I speak.

There's a reason why my sister and I, no matter how furious we are, never ever slam a door out of anger. When I was 6 or 7, after an argument with Mrs. Loong, I stormed into my room and slammed the door shut. There I was in, furious as hell and then suddenly there was a bang on the door and Mr Loong's calm voice "Open the door now." - Anger level down to 50%, wondering what the hell is going on. And then it came again, a little louder than before - Anger all gone, wondering if I'm going to die.

Then the door almost broke down, the walls in the house were shaking and the hinges were almost coming off. So there I was in my room from super fucking angry to shitting bricks and holy fucking hell, this is the end of me moment. Let's just say, lesson learnt.

But Mr Loong would always ask me to punch him and he would show me how to defend myself. In the background of this, Mrs Loong would be yelling at him to stop being bad influence and if he ends up hurting me, she will punch him herself. You can see why I never wondered if I was adopted.

It's safe to say that everyone in this household, including Pi (the dog), are afraid of Mrs Loong when she's aggravated. In my defense, sometimes its total self aggravation. All mothers are protective, but she's the funniest when she's playing her protective role.

When I was 10, Mrs. Loong was driving when someone hit us from behind. The driver's father came down and started screaming at her, all the while she just kept quiet. That made me snap, so I was a 10 year old screaming back at that old fuck which caused him to yell at me. And then the wrath of Mrs. Loong ignited, which caused her to semi-charge at him while berating every hair on his body. It was a good tag-team day.

I know this sounds like bad parenting but don't take it the wrong way. I once came home at close to 6 in the morning, a little drunk when suddenly Mr. Loong came out from his study room and asked me to come in. So there I was thinking "this is it. I'll have to find a new family who is willing to take me in." but it was just him showing me a YouTube video about the universe and galaxies. So I stood there, a little drunk, listening to his fascination about the galaxy at 6am.

This was during the Olympics when my sister and I were watching Pandalela Rinong take the bronze home. Which reminds me, 15 years ago, Mr. Loong wanted to send my sister and I for swimming lessons. He even filled up the forms and then the next day the forms went missing. To this day, he still accuses us of stealing and throwing them away. I know it sounds like something I would do, but I really didn't. I wonder if my sister did it.

If there was one thing Mr and Mrs Loong like to do, it would be randomly asking the most absurd questions in the calmest way at the oddest time. While watching tv, Mr Loong casually asked if I took drugs. I told him that I can't swallow pills (yes, it's true) and snorting anything aggravates my nose. Mrs Loong, upon hearing this, laughs as if it was the funniest thing she ever heard - that her daughter is incapable of being a drug addict.

We should have a tv series called "Keeping Up with the Loongs."

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Sex On Fire

I'm sure all of you have heard of the Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee hype by now. I mean, what else can Malaysia do to make it on international news besides the Bersih rally, Pandalela Rinong and political/non-political sex scandals.

They managed to cause such a fuss just because he decided to snap a picture of his "eel inside her cave" (Gotta love Memoirs of a Geisha) when the whole internet is filled with such stuff. I'm not saying I justify their actions because if it's not them, it's going to be someone else anyway.

Think about it, if this wasn't Malaysia or even an Asian country, it would not have been a big deal at all. Do you know how many Tumblr websites out there are dedicated to the same thing Alvin and Vivian are doing? And those people are no Megan Fox and Zac Efron as well.

They suddenly became such a big deal that they were a case study in my Criminology class. Which I had the limelight of answering my lecturer's question, "Do you think what they did is wrong?" In all honestly, I told my lecturer that the only thing I found wrong about what they did is that they did it so badly. Which is absolutely true. They misled us to think that it was going to be some top notch, million dollar budget porn by naming their blog "Sumptuous Erotica."

But the only thing sumptuous about their erotica was the amount of bandwidth it took up. I know most of you are thinking that I'm going way off topic here but really, if you're going to make porn for the world to see, DO IT WELL.

You think the world is going to look at the both of you and say "wow, their parents did not teach them well."? They will point, laugh and say that Asian people are bad in bed. I'm just saying what all of you are thinking. Come on, its the 21st century. Penises and vaginas on the internet are nothing new.

I honestly don't understand why everyone is saying "Oh, but Alvin is such a brilliant guy. He is a law student and he is scholar in the National University of Singapore."

So? Law students aren't allowed to have sex? Law students aren't allowed to own cameras? Law students aren't allowed to make bad porn and gain cheap publicity from it?

The dude obviously couldn't give a rat's ass that he may get kicked out of his university and possibly got his girlfriend disowned. It's so obvious that the both of them are gloating from the attention they are getting.

Do you know who they remind me of? You know there's always this one person in high school where they would do just about anything to get the attention of just about anyone? Even if it means bad publicity, it's still publicity? And all you wanna do is punch the shit out of them for being such attention seeking whores? Yes, that person.

I'm sorry, but when I saw this picture, my morality didn't scream at me, I just thought "Oh, wow. Small."

Seriously. What were they thinking? Have they not heard of the Asian Parent Fury? Were they expecting their parents to pat them on the back and say "Good job, son. Nice piece of ass you're banging there."?

Only in an Asian community, things like this gets blown out of proportion.

And to all Asian girls, SHAVE. The world knows we have tropical rainforests in our country. But we need not represent our nature with our vaginas. Did Cecilia Chung not teach you anything at all?

Monday, October 29, 2012

Relationships: We hate to love

You know what I really like talking about but I hardly ever blog about? Relationships.

So here are common situations of relationships that you may encountered yourself, or maybe in midst of it, and I will help you through it.

1. Fear of commitment

Are you dating someone or maybe you're that someone, who totally freak balls when the topic of "what are we going to be" in 5 years comes up? It's understandable how nerve wrecking it can be or how important it is to know as well.

Unfortunately for those of you who are hoping I can give you an answer on how to turn your commitment fearing partners into devoted please spend the rest of your life with me lovers, I'm actually the one who was afraid.

I know what you're thinking. "Was? That's good. Tell me how you went through it." I have no idea, but a part of me thinks that it was actually just that person I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with.

But seriously, for those of you who are dating such people, stop asking them what car they want to drive while sending your 3 kids to which school. That is not the way to familiarize commitment on someone. All I could think about when asked how our house would look like was "Holy fuck, I need to call for a break up."

2. Cheating

First of all, 2 sides to the story. How to stop someone from cheating on you? You can't. Thats the cold hard truth. If they want to cheat, they eventually will. How to not cheat? Break up with whoever you're with because if you want someone else, don't make them endure your lustful behaviour with you, slut.

Have I cheated before? Yes. I get it, its exciting. It's finally not that same face that gives you the same problem over and over and over again. But it's the worst thing you can ever do to someone you care, or once cared about. Did I get caught? No. But you know who caught me? Karma.

Have I got cheated on before? Yes. What did I do? I buried that bitch's body under the slide at the playground. Haha. No. It's entirely up to you whether you should leave or stay. I never believed in second chances until I got a second chance.

3. Communication

This is so important that it should actually be number 1. And you know what's the main problem with this? People generally have problems expressing themselves in words. You see, this is what Tumblr and Instagram do to you in the long run. You forget how to say what you're eating if you can't take a picture of it.

The ones who do know what to say somehow always find themselves dating people who refuses to listen to anyone except themselves. And I know all about this. You would think agreeing to shut up while the other speaks would work, but apparently not. I mean, you could try it. It's probably just the fucktard that I dated that was really just that retarded.

I once dated someone who complained I didn't give enough attention. So that week onwards, I was more attentive. You know what that slut said to me? "Why are you being so clingy?" So sometimes, it's a no win situation.

4. Ego

For the love of God, throw it away. You don't need it when you date someone. Yeah, you're probably thinking "But if I don't win this mind game, she/he will never want me the same way." 

Let me tell you something, you naive child. If someone sincerely loves you, the last thing they want to do is play mind games with you.

And here's a personal experience of how ridiculous one's ego can be. I said "Let's not argue here, make a scene and look like idiots in public. Let's go." That son of a bitch was like "No! I want to talk about it now!" So I explained "Yes, we will talk about it. But not here." and I began to walk to the car. Do you know what that crazy motherfucker said to me? "SEE! YOU CAN ALWAYS WALK AWAY FROM ME AND IN AND OUT OF MY LIFE AS YOU LIKE."

Holy mother of God, I don't even know where that came from. You know what, don't worry about it. Only I can attract weirdos like that.

5. How much is too much?

This is so subjective that I don't think there should be a textbook answer on it.

But here's a story. I was once in a relationship of 2 and half years. It was the unhealthiest kind of relationship someone could ever get into - clingy, self-centered, abusive, hypocritical and everything that screamed destructive. But some things need to happen before other things could fall into place.

Think about it this way. If you didn't learn from your horrible past relationships, would you have ever known how to treat your next like how they deserve to be treated and how they mean the whole world to you?


Oh, did I say help you through it? I meant remind you of your problems and tell you more about me. I'm kidding. You can talk to me personally, if you want.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Because We Can (Boleh)

One thing I remember learning in Sociology, it was that the media never tells the whole truth and is controlled by the ruling class. But in Malaysia, we bring that to a whole new level. If you're having a bad day, just flip through the newspaper. No, there's no need to go to the cartoons section because half the thing is a joke anyway. Half because from time to time, there are pretty good articles by freelance journalists.

You know the rapper 50 Cent? They took the time to convert his "value" into Malaysian currency. I mean, seriously, who the hell is writing our news and how much do they know about the world if they are writing on the entertainment section and tells us that 50 Cent is actually really just RM1.50 in Malaysia.

If there was one thing I hate in this world, it would be assumptions. Its poisonous, it causes problems and it starts rumours that goes way out of hand. And also because in math, they never fail to tell me to assume that x is of a certain value.

I used to be so happy when they told me to assume that x = y because in my mind it would be, "Yay. I'm only doing half the workload of equations but getting two correct answers". Obviously that didn't work out too well because I could never find x. Math and I have a mutual understanding that we will never understand one another.


 Did you see the front page of The Star, today?

This dude got charged for statutory rape which carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in jail but he was released after a year. Why have laws then?

Among the reasons given by the judge, one of it was that this guy was young when the crime was committed and that he is a first time offender. He was 21 when he did it. I'm 21 this year. Does that mean I can go rape someone maybe later today and then later claim that I'm actually too young to understand that its wrong?

Another reason given for his release was because the sexual act was consensual. How fucking consensual can it be if she was 12? I don't care if she was his girlfriend, she's 12. You know how old are we when we learn about sexual intercourse in our education system? 15. And even with that, its a lie. Three quarters of that topic teaches you about how pollens fly around (asexual reproduction) and how plants reproduce instead. Lies.

I don't get it. Let off on good behaviour?  What the fuck did he do? Sweep his jail cell obediently everyday for a year?

They wanted to cane a Muslim lady for consuming alcohol in public, but oh okay, let's let the rapist off after a year because he has a good behaviour now, a pedophile maybe, but good otherwise. And oh, he also has a bright future.

He is a high school drop out, an electrician who is now an ex convict. What is he going to do? Invent another light bulb? I'm not saying that he will live a miserable life from now onwards (even though his face is plastered across the front page) but let's not be too far-fetched about this, especially in this society.